The Skincare Savant: Five Habits That Made an Impact on My Skin

A meditation on acceptance. Not clickbait.

Welcome to a fresh installment of The Skincare Savant, a love letter to my most favorite ritual and all of the captivating, indulgent and heavenly skincare products and other delights that care for your skin. But for a moment, let’s collectively take a step back from those enchanting products and focus on the practice, the ritual of caring for our skin. Forget about the “miracle” serums that cost more than the rent for your first apartment, overlook the trendy new night cream with all those lofty promises and ignore the “Botox in a bottle” scams. Instead, remember that your skin belongs to you and with you, and it’s yours to take care of however you see fit. This post has been sitting in my drafts collecting dust for quite some time — along with several other half-baked ideas that I haven’t quite figured out how to piece together. But I hate loose ends. From the very beginning, this newsletter has been about my personal experience and opinions. And I’ve been ignoring this post because of a nagging, all-consuming fear of not getting it right. But after many fits and starts, I decided to listen to my own advice and share my musings (get it?) without claiming to know it all. This is an imperfect and anecdotal reflection on my personal experience that may help you in some way. At least, I hope. The Skincare Savant is an ode to the practice of caring for your skin, from your skincare routine and beyond. You can find every installment of The Skincare Savant here. Let’s dive in.

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Reminder:

• I am not a dermatologist, doctor, licensed esthetician or credentialed expert of any kind. The opinions shared are my own. They not intended to and should not be perceived as medical advice. When in doubt, consult a physician you trust.

• Everyone’s skin is different. I can only speak to my personal experience, which is purely anecdotal, and what works for me may not work for you and that’s okay.

• My skin is akin to an arid climate in a record-breaking drought, meaning I have very dry skin. While that may influence my approach and overall experience with skincare, there’s something here for everyone.

Perfect Skin Does Not Exist: And Other Truths

I can only speak from my own experience, which is purely anecdotal. While I’m temped to include every other possible disclaimer, caveat and other stipulations before I continue any further — I don’t want to couch every other sentence with yet another reminder that I don’t know it all and never claimed to. Still, I can’t help but emphasize this is an imperfect and anecdotal reflection on my personal experience over the better part of the last decade. And with all that said (and knowing that much more could and should be said), there’s some things you should know.

Your Skin Belongs to You

Perfect skin is a myth. We all have pores and they’re essential to our skin’s ability to function, don’t try to wish them away. Glass skin, donut skin, glazed skin, dolphin skin or whatever the latest trending terminology is does not equate to healthy skin. Acne, dark spots, wrinkles, bumps, pigmentation, discoloration, scars and all the things we’ve been programmed to believe are “flaws” do not equate to unhealthy skin. The root-trigger options for so many common skin concerns — from lifestyle to diet, sun exposure, sleep, medications, environment, hormones and much more — are endless. We all have little bumps and visible oil glands. We all laugh and cry (sometimes at the same time). We all age and our faces will inevitably reflect the many tragedies and triumphs we’ve endured over the years. Skincare cannot do it all. Miracle products are too good to be true. We’ve been hardwired to believe the misleading and false claims fed to us by a relentless marketing and PR machine that, among other things, relies on fear, self-loathing and unrealistic definitions of beauty.

And all the little things about your skin you thought of while reading this (you know them too well) are not flaws. They are part of your skin and unique to you. They belong to you. There’s a lot more I could and maybe should say but it’s never too late to accept that perfect skin simply does not exist. Your skin belongs to you, my skin belongs to me and the best thing we can do is accept our skin as it is, care for it to the extent we’re able and stop playing the never-ending comparison game with filtered fantasies. Everyone’s skin is different and that’s an unbelievably beautiful thing.

My Skin Belongs to Me

It took a lifetime of self-loathing to finally learn (and relearn) to accept that there are things about my skin that I cannot change. The scar from when I fell and broke open my chin will always be there. I can’t gua sha my way to chiseled cheekbones, my smile lines aren’t going anywhere, my skin will forever be akin to an arid climate, my melasma belongs with me. And that’s okay. Over time and with several detours along the way, I reframed my mindset from searching for a magic antidote for perfection to working to keep my skin healthy. It’s a lifelong maintenance phase. For years, my focus has been developing and evolving sustainable habits that contribute to my overall skin health and learning how to care for my unique skin. I don’t have all the answers and I certainly don’t know it all but I lean on the the expertise of board-certified dermatologists and other medical doctors I trust — and ultimately, I remember that my skin belongs to me and with me.

Over the years, I’ve found that the rituals or habits below have contributed to keeping my skin strong, happy and healthy. This is not intended to be an exhaustive list or a comprehensive deep dive on any particular issue, and it’s important to remember that what works for me may not work for you. As always, this is my anecdotal experience and the opinions shared are my own, this should not be perceived as medical advice. Still, I hope it helps.

Healthy Habits Exist: And These Are Some of Mine

1. Be A Sunscreen Queen

If you take just one thing away from this post, let it be this: applying sunscreen every single day (rain or shine) is one of the best things you can do for your skin. Short periods of sun exposure — like walking to and from the subway or the office, running an errand, stepping outside for a quick walk, etc. — add up over time, and actives in our skincare can make our skin more sensitive to the sun. And unfortunately, windows really don’t provide complete protection from potential sun exposure. Which is all to say, sunscreen is the most important step in any skincare routine and while you can use all the fancy serums and pricey LED devices the world has to offer, if you’re not applying an adequate amount of sunscreen — you might as well light your money on fire. I know I sound harsh but I’m not kidding when I say that I looked significantly older five years ago when I wasn’t applying the adequate amount of sunscreen with SPF 50+ protection everyday. I’m not suggesting that sunscreen has turned me into Benjamin Button but a friend thought I had put an aging filter on a photo of me from five years ago because the difference really is rather stark (LOL). Obviously, there are an endless number of variables at play but hopefully you get the point.

And while I’ll spare you my latest dissertation on sunscreen, it’s always good to keep a few essential things in mind when it comes to protecting our skin from the sun. Whether you’re using an SPF 30 or an SPF 50 (please do not use an SPF 30), you need to apply the proper amount of sunscreen to actually achieve the protection listed. And to be frank, this isn’t really communicated well by brands and that hurts all consumers — the directive to “apply liberally” is comically unhelpful. It’s recommended that you use approximately two milligrams of sunscreen per square centimeter of skin, and for most people that’s roughly 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon for their face, ears and neck. However, I prefer to apply at least 1/2 to 1/3 a teaspoon because I personally think it helps mitigate against any potential errors. Rather than hope for the best with the three finger method, I highly recommend taking out a measuring spoon so you can see how much product you should be using everyday. You won’t always have a measuring spoon with you but you’ll start to get the hang of it.

If you come here often, you know my favorite sunscreens are not made in the U.S., as the government has failed to keep up with necessary innovations for decades. I recommend purchasing sunscreens made internationally but definitely do not buy them on Amazon. Some of my favorites include: this sunscreen (ship it to the U.S. here), this sunscreen, this sunscreen, this sunscreen, this sunscreen, this sunscreen and this sunscreen for body. Yes, Stylevana is a legit website but the shipping can take a very long time. Now if you are more of a mineral sunscreen person (I am not), I really recommend this one or this one (save w/ myskinterest). Also, “reef safe” is just a marketing term and isn’t real. Okay, moving on…

2. Really Wash Your Face

Between general pollution, sunscreen, sweat, makeup, food, germs, cat hair, dirt, bacteria and everything else on our face at the end of the day — it’s a really good idea to double cleanse. I know this may seem like an excessive way (and thus a very me way) to wash your face. However, I’ve found it extremely beneficial for minimizing potential breakouts, redness and other irritation. For me, taking the time to really wash my face has dramatically improved how my skin looks and feels. And even though I have dry skin, it never feels “squeaky clean” because I use products that are both gentle and effective. To double cleanse, you use an oil-based cleanser first (a bunch of great examples), followed by a water-based cleanser (more fabulous examples). This not only helps break down makeup and sunscreen but it also helps the products in your skincare routine penetrate the skin more effectively. Personally, I like to triple cleanse and I’ve used this product as my first step for at least six years (save w/ myskinterest). More often than not, I use this balm as my oil-based cleanser and this gel cleanser (save/ myskinterest) or this gel cleanser as my final, water-based step.

Also, I highly recommend using a clean towel every single time you wash your face. You can buy cheap hand towels by the dozens online (this is what I did!) and toss them in your hamper after each use. This basically helps keep any bacteria on your bath towel, hand towel or any other towel in-use at bay. And again, like all of these “habits,” I personally believe this has really helped my skin over time.

Healthy skin is a lifelong maintenance phase.

3. Let Your Skin Live

As a recovering picker, I’ve spent hours in front of those 700x magnification mirrors inspecting every single millimeter of my skin with a pair of tweezers. I could go on and on for hours about how detrimental magnifying mirrors and tools can be on your skin, mental health and overall well-being. And while I know all too well that it’s easier said than done, it’s a very good idea to start by throwing out the mirrors. Just do it. If you can’t remove them from your life because they’re small but permanent fixtures on a larger mirror or whatever the case may be, get some tape and cover the magnified area. If you have any tools that you use to pick and prod, I recommend getting rid of those as well. Removing these things from your life is a very big step toward letting your skin heal.

The truth is that no one is looking at your skin with a magnifying lens the way we tend to do and picking will always do more harm than good. That’s certainly not to say I’m perfect, we’re all human — but truly, letting my skin heal has done so much for my skin and my well-being. Let your skin be skin. The large majority of things we fixate on aren’t visible and will go away in time, and if not — it could be worth going to a dermatologist to get something checked. But the first step is to heal. There’s a great poem (well, several) from Kate Baer titled Robyn Hood, and while it’s about acceptance in other forms — the message is universal. At the end of the day, your skin belongs to you.

We all know there’s a lot more to this one. But part of building healthy habits is breaking ones that don’t serve us. And if you’re struggling with your skin, please consult a physician you trust.

4. Fill in the Gaps with Intention

While I can look back on it now and laugh, there was a time when I was endlessly frustrated and couldn’t understand why my skin didn’t look or feel healthy. I was using a $150 moisturizer (before inflation) and a great cleanser (save w/ myskinterest), yet my skin was distressed. And to make an incredibly long story, one that spans years and is riddled with trial and so much error, this is ultimately how I started to build a morning routine. No, it was nothing like my morning skincare routine is now (and don’t even get me started on my nighttime routine) but it was a process of filling in the gaps — intentionally. To be clear, you really only need a cleanser, a sunscreen with SPF 50+ protection and a moisturizer. But if you’re here, I have to imagine you’re already using those products. And I came to realize that I had to be more intentional about what went into my routine, using the latest and greatest (and most expensive) thing wasn’t doing me any good. This still rings true today (and keen observers may notice that my routine rarely changes).

And while I am in no way suggesting that you also begin each day with a seventy-five step skincare routine, I think it’s possible that your skin may benefit from a little extra. For me, the answer was simple yet impossible to understand for quite some time: I have remarkably dry skin that rivals the Atacama. I needed more hydration. In my experience, the most effective way to retain moisture is to apply thin layers of hydrating ingredients on top of each other. If you’ve seen my skincare routine on my Instagram Stories, you know that I layer on a lot of hydrating serums. And it’s nearly impossible to overstate how helpful this has been for me — though finding the right hydrating serums is a whole other story. Of course, adding antioxidant-rich serums and chemical exfoliants has also helped protect and strengthen my skin, while minimizing the appearance of pigmentation. In all honesty, this may also require you to reconsider the products you’re currently using and ask yourself if they’re actually the best thing for your skin or if they’re just in a really pretty bottle. Ideally, they’re both but in reality, you may have to make some changes. I sure have.

Although that extra layer (or a few) your skin needs will undoubtedly change over time, this “habit” has truly helped to transform my skin from dull, tired and crusty to happy, strong and healthy. Nothing happens overnight (unless it’s a pimple the day before an interview, a presentation or your wedding) but small steps along the way add up. Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions until one day when I happen to look in the mirror and I realize a) my shirt is on backwards and b) that my skin looks like how I always wanted it to — healthy. Take small steps, adapt as you go and accept that not everything is made for your skin and that progress happens slowly.

5. Consistency is Everything

Above all, no matter how you choose to care for your skin, developing healthy rituals that work for you and that you can sustain are the ones that will have the biggest impact. As I said above, none of this happens overnight but when you continue to practice the rituals you’ve built over time, you may be surprised at the results. To protect your skin, you have to be consistent with your sunscreen application (and reapplication). To help mitigate against common skin concerns and help the products you’re using be more effective, you have to be consistent with double (cough triple) cleansing your face. To let your skin heal and grow, you have to cut ties with some unhealthy habits. To make sure your routine is effective, you have to listen to your skin and you may have to add a step or two and reevaluate what you’re currently using. To learn to accept your skin, you have to embrace it for all that it is — because your skin belongs to you and it will always be with you. And your skin is as close to perfect as it gets. Nurture it, learn from it and be proud of it. Taking care of your skin (to the extent you choose to) is a never-ending journey, a lifelong maintenance phase and one that’s unique to you.

My skin belongs to me and your skin belongs to you. And what an undeniably beautiful thing that is.

Until next time, follow along on Instagram and browse all of my favorite things. myMusings is a labor of love but it is labor. Don’t forget to click the 🤍 button before you go! Thank you for being here. Talk soon.